A Monday List

1. I've been almost sitting down to write blog posts for days now. I've even got a few thoughts that might end up as entire posts by themselves, but today is a list kind of day.

2. I had the best run today I've had in a really long time. Sixties, cloudy, slightly breezy but not overly windy, and I just felt in the groove. My pace was better than it's been since....well, since a while. Oh, and speaking of running, an old college roommate of mine just won the Little Rock Marathon! How cool is that? Way to go, Tia!

3. Right now I'm reading a bit of historical fiction -- Storm Clouds Rolling In, by Ginny Dye. I'm busy and distracted with a few projects right now, so I haven't gotten very far, but it was a gift from a trusted friend and fellow reader, so I"m looking forward to it. I'm also listening to Bands of Mourning by Brandon Sanderson. Fun fantasy with a detective story kind of feel.

4. Speaking of Brandon Sanderson, we went to a book signing of his a couple of weeks ago. Matrim's first book sigining! (Christina's was Patrick Rothfuss...we're trying to raise the children right).

5. PSA: when the grocery store runs the fancy expensive yogurt on sale DO NOT BUY IT. Because then you will want to buy it all the time because it is delicious. Can you tell I'm currently obsessed with Noosa yoghurt? The only thing saving me is that my grocery store carries the plain and vanilla in the larger tubs, and it's currently stocked at my Costco at a significant discount over the grocery store. This stuff is delicious.

6. It's spring in Houston (the pine pollen is coating everything, so it's official). Aside from the disgusting yellow pollen coating everything which I'm basically trying to pretend doesn't exist, I do love Houston in the springtime. The air feels and smells fresh and green and slightly tropical. The longer days are great, the nights are cool, and as of right this moment the mosquitos aren't trying to eat my alive yet (it's raining the rest of the week so...we'll see about next week).

Reading...For the Love

Many moons ago,  friend introduced me to Jen Hatmaker's blog, and I came to adore her funny, witty, thoughtful, sarcastic, irreverent, Jesus-filled posts. I've been intending to pick up one of her books for a while now, but finally dove in with her latest: For the Love. For the Love is a book of essays, loosely related to the theme of grace. In my mind, it could easily be subtitled: "love Jesus, be good to others, be good to yourself." There are serious and insightful essays about subjects like love, friendship, living on mission, the Church, and parenthood. There are funny essays about fashion, friendship, family, and just random stuff. And it's all written in the tone of someone who feels like your smart best friend. Two of my favorite essays are  I bought this book, and I'm glad I did. I can see myself revisiting certain essays. A couple of my favorites are the one on turning 40 (and the confidence that comes with it that I'm striving for a few years early), and the one about setting good boundaries for yourself -- not trying to balance everything (which is impossible anyway), but being choosy about what you keep "on the beam" (as in balance beam).

I think I liked this book so much because aside from the fact that Jen's sense of humor hits my sweet spot, the book made me want to be a better person -- and more than that made me feel like I CAN be a better person. And really, what more could I want from a book?

A Wednesday List

1. A newish acquaintance/friend learned that I am a writer (if I can still say that having not gotten my post-baby mojo back yet), and asked me on Sunday how the writing was going. It really touched me, and being asked always inspires me. Yes, novel, I see you sitting lonely and dusty over there. This week, we'll make a date, I promise.

2. I've done something to my shoulder, and I suspect it's related to wearing my baby ring sling. My shoulder hasn't been quite right for months, and it's the shoulder that the sling rests on. I wore Matrim in it yesterday to storytime at the library and I am HURTING today. Cooincidence? Sadly, I doubt it. I love the sling. I don't want to give it up. But I also love not being in excruciating pain whenever I lift my arm so...

3. I have been woefully slow in finishing library books on my Kindle, and previously, as long as I didn't navigate away from the book I could still read it even after my loan had ended. But yesterday when I went to turn my Kindle on and read, I was greeted with the home screen and the sad news that my loan had expired. Oh well! Motivation, right?

4. Speaking of motivation...I've started a crochet project and I'm pretty excited about it. Although I suspect I may have to consume a few nighttime cups of coffee to finish it by the deadline. It's a baby gift and I don't think the baby is going to wait for me to finish before making his appearance.

5. What am I reading...well, since my library book was returned, I'll go back to Queen of the Tearling, which is fine so far, but isn't really lighting my fire. I just finished For the Love, by Jen Hatmaker (which I will write more words about another day) and it was really great. My first non-fiction of the year, and an absolute success!

This journey

I'm not sure if it's universally true (few things are, after all), but I've noticed something staying at home with the munchkins. Because I spend a lot of my day doing repetitive and menial tasks with and for children who are either non or only barely verbal, my brain either a) goes into hibernation or b) just churns out random thoughts. Obviously, I sometimes share those random thoughts here. Sometimes they are fleeting and about as in depth as a bullet point on a list, but sometimes I ponder things a little more...philosophical. Or at least, philosophical-adjacent.

Lately, I find myself thinking about people. About relationships long, short, permanent, and transient. I lived in the same city from the time I was three years old, in the same house from the time I was five until I went to college. I have a friend whom I have been friends with since we were both in preschool, and every time I make a trip to the homestead, we still make a point to at least have a cup of coffee and touch base. While Sandy is perhaps my closest of my old home-friends, there are still a lot of friends I am happy to see when I visit my family in Missouri. But, like a lot of people, I went to college in another state, to a university where more people were from "away" than not. And I made friends. Some friendships lasted only one semester before sliding into acquaintance, and some lasted through my four years in Arkansas. Some are Facebook friends, or Christmas card friends, and a few are still really-good-phone-call-I'm-coming-to-visit-kindred-spirit friends. (there's also that guy I married....best friend!) Fast forward to Houston, then Wilmington, NC, then Austin, then back to Houston. And I know that many people move a lot more and more often than I have, but even moving that much results in a lot of paths crossing. A lot of relationships. A lot of life intersecting with other life. A lot of community, and deep bonds, and family-building. A lot of joy, and a lot of loss. And that doesn't even count the extremely short-term interactions with people met traveling, or on a temporary job, or the friend of a friend who is only visiting, or friendships built online around common interests. There have been times where I've wondered -- is it worth it? Is it worth investing in a relationship when I've invested in so many before? When one of us may move? Why did I spend the time building friendships, only to leave the city a year later? Maybe it's not worth it.

But the thing is, those interactions matter. Even a smile and helping hand in the grocery store from a fellow shopper who realizes the difficulty of unloading a grocery cart with a baby strapped to your chest -- every interaction matters. I am better for having met you. For having spent time with you, for being privileged to have my road intersect with your road. 

Recent moves have brought these thoughts to mind more than once in the past couple of years and I know I've written about this before, but lately the people at Shevet Achim have been on my heart and mind, and that's why I'm putting words to these thoughts again. Shevet Achim is a beautiful part of God's Kingdom, and people who are really and truly doing Kingdom work. This organization brings children with congenital heart defects into Israel to have life-saving surgery at world class medical centers. These children are Kurdish, Syrian, Palestinian, Iraqi. They are being cared for and loved on by Christians and Jews. What is more beautiful than that? The volunteers and staff at Shevet Achim live in close community, and when you are with them for even a short time they embrace you. The people we met were examples of keeping your eyes on Jesus, and on trying to live a life of love, peace, and truth. I wish everyone could spend a couple of weeks at Shevet Achim, but even if you can't, spend a few minutes reading their web site and praying for people who are being Jesus in a unique and special way.

So, to whoever you are. You know who you are. Maybe we studied, ate, laughed, cried, prayed, traveled, played, worked, argued, worshiped, ran, or even lived together. Maybe we just shared a meal, or a cup of coffee. Maybe we shared life. Maybe we are still sharing life. No matter how our roads crossed, or how long they followed the same path -- and even if they are still right there, side by side  -- thank you for leaving your mark, for filling my cup.

Reading....The Night Circus

Y'all. I'm not sure why it took me so long to read The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern. I think when it came out I was caught up reading a lot of other things, and just didn't pay much attention to the reviews except to note that they were a mixed bag. But when a recommendation from my good friend Mary coincided with an available credit on Audible -- well. This book. Two magicians, two schools of thought, one game. The venue: a circus. It's a simple premise, and a simple plot. But as the story unfolds and the game begins, things get complicated -- as they usually do. A circus means people -- people who are unwittingly players in an enigmatic game with few rules and no end in sight, a game overseen by two men who have been dueling by proxy for a very long time.  While The Night Circus does have an interesting plot, the book is really about the characters, the setting, and the atmosphere. It's a book that unfolds slowly, carefully, and beautifully. It's a book that seeps into your consciousness. It's a book with many layers and hidden corners, where every detail is deliberately and carefully chose. Nothing wasted. Beautiful. It's not a book for everyone, but it's my kind of book for sure.

A Monday List

1. I'm craving popcorn at the moment, but I'm too lazy to make some. I make it on the stovetop old-school style because I don't love microwave and don't have an air popper. I settled for some cereal...which is my number two favorite evening snack.

2. Baby sleep, man. It's a rough time in our house. I tend to be a fixer, and it's hard when I can't clearly identify the main problem (probably because there are many factors contributing to the rocky sleep situation). I guess it's just a matter of addressing one thing at a time, and remembering to give things time to work before trying a different tactic.

3. Chocolate.

4. Downton Abbey is back!! I plan to thoroughly enjoy every moment of the last season. Although....I really think they could dial back on the Bates and Anna drama.

5. I really, really, really need to break my no-knitting streak. Partly because I miss it. Partly because I have a gift that's not going to make itself for a baby that's going to show up one day pretty soon. I'm just finding it hard to get back in the groove.

6. I got to see snow last week! I was in Missouri visiting family and it snowed! I may or may not have been compelled to step outside at one point to smell the snow. I've lived in the south too long.

Happy Random Monday, y'all!

It's a new year, friends

For a week I've been writing drafts in my head of a New Year post. But it's taken this long to actually sit down and write down some thoughts. Better late than never, right? I like celebrating the New Year. I like reflection and fresh starts. Obviously, you don't need a holiday to reflect on what's going on in your life or give yourself a fresh start, but sometimes it's nice to have a little encouragement to do that. (It's also one reason I like back to school time...even though I'm not in school). 

I think I've mentioned before that our friends in North Carolina have been hosting a New Year's Eve party for several years. One of the best parts is New Year's Day, when most of us get back together for breakfast and lots of coffee, think about the past year, and set some goals for the new one. It's fun, and in the process we've all learned a bit about setting New Year's goals.

1. Set goals -- not resolutions. A goal is something you're working toward, something to reach for and strive for, but also something that can adapt when reality presents itself. You don't break goals. You may not meet it exactly, but there's not the same sense of failure as when you break a resolution.

2. My friend Ryan schooled me on the proper way to set a goal: be concrete, and give yourself a specific time frame and/or parameters. For example: my goal is not to "get healthy." My goal is to lose 15 pounds by December and run two 5k races. My goal is not to "write more" but to write a certain number of days per week.

3. On the other hand -- it's also nice to have some less concrete goals. Like that I want to be more purposeful with my time, more intentional about investing in relationships. These kind of goals give me something to think about, give me room to be creative within the realities of day to day life. It's why I'm a big fan of the One Word concept. One word to frame your upcoming year.

4. Realize that you're not going to meet your goals on January 1. Which is good. Because I've got a whole year to work my way up to writing 6 days a week, playing my piano at least twice a week, and a few other goals I've got. 

5. Be comfortable with the fact that some years, the only goal is -- this year has to be better than the last. That's not the case for me this year, but I've been there in the past and have had friends who are there now. And that's okay. The New Year isn't always about setting tons of lofty goals. It's about the rhythm of life, about taking stock, about not just reacting to life. 

Happy (slightly belated) New Year!