be different

It's a common complaint: the internet has given us the distance and opportunity to be hateful. We have forgotten how to have civilized conversation about sensitive and passion-provoking topics. Our culture is one of divisiveness and extremes. Us versus them. For us or against us. Tolerance has become synonymous with agreement. 

But a funny thing happened a few weeks ago. I read a Civil War novel (Storm Clouds Rolling In, by Ginny Dye) that reminded me very vividly that passionate division is nothing new. Disagreement turning to hatefulness is nothing new. Of course, throughout history, this often leads to more open conflict like civil wars, revolutionary wars.

So it's no surprise then, that when the Bible talks about what the Kingdom of God looks like...it specifically addresses how we talk to each other, how we disagree with each other, and how we treat each other. If we call ourselves children of God, If we consider ourselves part of the Kingdom of God, then we are called to look different. To act different. To BE different than those who have not yet taken up residence in that Kingdom. And the funny thing is, if I'm full of the Spirit, living a Kingdom life...that's going to make God's Kingdom look like a pretty great place. Maybe it will make people want to find out how to live there too.

I will be the first to say that sometimes God does ask us to rise up, stand against evil, and seek justice particularly for those who are marginilized or can't easily help themselves (how many times does Jesus tell us to take care of widows and orphans? A lot. And that's just one example). I believe God calls us to speak truth and live rightly, and when the circumstances call for it (mostly when it comes to other God-followers), to gently and lovingly point someone who is sinning back to Jesus -- to come alongside them and walk with them back into reconciliation with God.

Much of what God calls us to do comes down to relationship. Relationship with him, relationship with others. Not everyone has a public forum, and not everyone needs one. If God gives you an opportunity to do good, fight for truth, make a difference in making our broken and hurting world a little better or a little more in line with what God wants -- take the opportunity! If it's on a large scale -- awesome! If it's on a small scale -- awesome! Sometimes it's taking the time to vote, or taking the time to say hello to your neighbor, or offering someone a cup of cold water or a smile.

Several Bible verses have really stood out to me lately and seem particularly applicable our cultural atmosphere of vitriol. I'll say it again: it's okay to share what you believe, and it's okay if that's different from what someone else believes, and it's even okay to be bold in the right context. What I want to think about these days though, is not always what I'm saying, but how I'm saying it. I want to ask myself if I'm listening, not just talking (it's called conversation). Am I praying for discernment that God will help me know when, what, and how to speak to others about tricky subjects.

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." - Galations 6:9-10

"Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. he will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him..." Psalm 37:1-7

"Before destruciton a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor" Proverbs 18:12 (pride goes before the fall)

"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame...an intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge...death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who live it will eat its fruits." Proverbs 18:13, 15, 21

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' To the contrary, 'if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to dirnk; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:18-21

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22

A Wednesday list

1. Family visits! That's the theme of May (well, end of April and May). A visit from Oma and Papa from Missouri...a visit to the East Texas homestead...and an upcoming jaunt to see the Austin cousins. We all love it!

2. Iced coffee. 'Tis the season! (Hot) Nothing quite like some cold brew.

3. Yoga. Still running, of course, but I'm also really digging yoga at the moment. A friend recommended an instructor with some YouTube videos and they are perfect. A little variety and not too long. (Erin Motz, if you're interested)

4. Reading. Catching up on some Sarah Dessen (Lock and Key and Saint Anything), which is always fun. Great contemporary ya fiction. Listening to some Brandon Sanderson, and trying to find the perfect time to start Raven King, by Maggie Stiefvater. It's the fourth and final book in her Raven cycle and I am so excited to read it and sad it's over. I got to go to a book signing last week (thanks Jeremy!) to buy the book and get it signed. Maggie is so funny. She tells a story like...well, a storyteller. It was fun.

5. Short list today...diapers wait for no one.

A Wednesday List

1. Kids are gross. There's just no getting around it. Pee, poop, snot, dirt. Everything in their mouths and then little sticky hands everywhere. It's a good thing they're so cute. Even when they sneeze in your face.

2. Texas Ruby Red grapefruit is so delicious. My grocery store had 15 lb. bags on sale last week for $5. $5!!! I couldn't pass it up, but that is a lot of grapefruit. If I can get motivated (see #2), I might try out a grapefruit pound cake recipe just for something different.

3. I signed up for a 5k a few weeks ago, and it's coming up on the 23rd. I'm excited! It's been a while since I've run a race. Not since moving to Texas, in fact, and I enjoy local 5ks a lot. This is a tad far from my house, but I couldn't find a more local one that fit my time table and schedule.

4. And speaking of running....I've almost reached a goal of mine that means I get to buy a couple of new running shirts. Yay running clothes!

5. And speaking of writing (wait...weren't we? Aren't we always), I've been putting it on my to-do list every day for the past few weeks and have managed it a couple of times (not counting a few of these blog posts...which I totally do, by the way). But I've got the seed of an idea for summer that might give me a little extra momentum. Too little to say out loud yet, but it's promising.

6. On my "nightstand": still reading (and enjoying) Storm Clouds Rolling In. I'd probably be finished by now, but got interrupted by some library holds coming in. Like Saint Anything, by Sarah Dessen, which just became available. Forcing me to choose between finishing or starting something new. I'm also still listening to my Brandon Sanderson audio, but had a slight interruption because of phone issues. That, and I've been spending my dishwashing/cooking time watching Star Trek: Voyager. I never managed to watch this show as regularly as others, so I am really enjoying this rewatch. And I had forgotten what a great captain Janeway is. Love her.

Reading...After You

 This is the third book by Jojo Moyes that I've read, and with each book I finish it and just want more, more, more. When I read One Plus One, I was seven month pregnant working at church camp, and during rest time I'd end up happily reading instead of napping. I'm averaging about 5-6 hours of sleep a night these days, but I absolutely gobbled up After You, and stayed up way too late too many nights because I just couldn't stop myself (and by way to late, I mean...like 11 p.m. Which is super late for me these days).

Anyway, After You is the sequel to the excellent Me Before You. After You picks up about a year after Me Before You ends, and we get to catch up with Lou, her family, and Will's parents. We see Lou stuck in a holding pattern. Her parents are navigating relationship changes, and her sister is trying hard to move ahead in life as a single mom. Will's mom is grieving quietly in a small village, and Will's father has married his pregnant mistress. Life tries to shake things up for Lou, first with a pretty serious accident, then with the appearance of Will's teenage daughter. A daughter Will never knew about, with a lot of anger, attitude, and something she's hiding. A girl who desperately wants to know the father she never had.

In my opinion one of Moyes' strengths is her characterization. For example, Lou's parents are brilliantly written -- small-town people of a certain generation. The generation of traditional gender roles and Sunday dinners. On the flip side, Will's daughter is such a realistic teenager. Oblivious, self-involved, oblivious, and occasionally in possession of maturity and astounding insight. You want to smack her and at the same time give her a big hug and protect her.

Like her other two books, After You is, at its core, about relationships and family. The family you choose and the family you don't. It's about grief, and change, and not being afraid, especially when you find those people who will have your back no matter what.

Reading...Iron Hearted Violet

 Iron Hearted Violet, by Kelly Barnhill was an impulse read. I was at the library for toddler storytime, and it's gorgeous cover stood out on a display of middle grade fantasy. Middle grade fantasy can be a fun refreshing change from long and/or heavy adult fantasy, plus I'm on the lookout these days for good fantasy to recommend to my niece. I'm happy to say that I really enjoyed Iron Hearted Violet. Here's the Goodreads synopsis (which for once says pretty much exactly what I wanted to): 

Princess Violet is plain, reckless, and quite possibly too clever for her own good. Particularly when it comes to telling stories. One day she and her best friend, Demetrius, stumble upon a hidden room and find a peculiar book. A forbidden book. It tells a story of an evil being—called the Nybbas—imprisoned in their world. The story cannot be true—not really. But then the whispers start. Violet and Demetrius, along with an ancient, scarred dragon, may hold the key to the Nybbas’s triumph . . . or its demise. It all depends on how they tell the story. After all, stories make their own rules.
Iron Hearted Violet is a story of a princess unlike any other. It is a story of the last dragon in existence, deathly afraid of its own reflection. Above all, it is a story about the power of stories, our belief in them, and how one enchanted tale changed the course of an entire kingdom.

The book was just as charming as it sounds. The book is narrated by the castle storyteller, which gives it a nice intimate, yet detached point of view. It sounds like a fairy tale. There's clearly a message to the story -- a fantastic message, one of confidence, loyalty, truth, and forging your own path. But the message isn't heavy handed or obnoxious.

Bottom line, if you're looking for a classic-feeling fairy tale with a bit of a twist (or you know a kid who is), this is a solid choice.

A Monday List

1. I've been almost sitting down to write blog posts for days now. I've even got a few thoughts that might end up as entire posts by themselves, but today is a list kind of day.

2. I had the best run today I've had in a really long time. Sixties, cloudy, slightly breezy but not overly windy, and I just felt in the groove. My pace was better than it's been since....well, since a while. Oh, and speaking of running, an old college roommate of mine just won the Little Rock Marathon! How cool is that? Way to go, Tia!

3. Right now I'm reading a bit of historical fiction -- Storm Clouds Rolling In, by Ginny Dye. I'm busy and distracted with a few projects right now, so I haven't gotten very far, but it was a gift from a trusted friend and fellow reader, so I"m looking forward to it. I'm also listening to Bands of Mourning by Brandon Sanderson. Fun fantasy with a detective story kind of feel.

4. Speaking of Brandon Sanderson, we went to a book signing of his a couple of weeks ago. Matrim's first book sigining! (Christina's was Patrick Rothfuss...we're trying to raise the children right).

5. PSA: when the grocery store runs the fancy expensive yogurt on sale DO NOT BUY IT. Because then you will want to buy it all the time because it is delicious. Can you tell I'm currently obsessed with Noosa yoghurt? The only thing saving me is that my grocery store carries the plain and vanilla in the larger tubs, and it's currently stocked at my Costco at a significant discount over the grocery store. This stuff is delicious.

6. It's spring in Houston (the pine pollen is coating everything, so it's official). Aside from the disgusting yellow pollen coating everything which I'm basically trying to pretend doesn't exist, I do love Houston in the springtime. The air feels and smells fresh and green and slightly tropical. The longer days are great, the nights are cool, and as of right this moment the mosquitos aren't trying to eat my alive yet (it's raining the rest of the week so...we'll see about next week).

Reading...For the Love

Many moons ago,  friend introduced me to Jen Hatmaker's blog, and I came to adore her funny, witty, thoughtful, sarcastic, irreverent, Jesus-filled posts. I've been intending to pick up one of her books for a while now, but finally dove in with her latest: For the Love. For the Love is a book of essays, loosely related to the theme of grace. In my mind, it could easily be subtitled: "love Jesus, be good to others, be good to yourself." There are serious and insightful essays about subjects like love, friendship, living on mission, the Church, and parenthood. There are funny essays about fashion, friendship, family, and just random stuff. And it's all written in the tone of someone who feels like your smart best friend. Two of my favorite essays are  I bought this book, and I'm glad I did. I can see myself revisiting certain essays. A couple of my favorites are the one on turning 40 (and the confidence that comes with it that I'm striving for a few years early), and the one about setting good boundaries for yourself -- not trying to balance everything (which is impossible anyway), but being choosy about what you keep "on the beam" (as in balance beam).

I think I liked this book so much because aside from the fact that Jen's sense of humor hits my sweet spot, the book made me want to be a better person -- and more than that made me feel like I CAN be a better person. And really, what more could I want from a book?